Sports has always taken care of me. It was always the one constant in my life. I always played sports, it was my haven, it took care of me. I played sports that I wasn’t good at and I worked really hard and got better. But at home I was always an asshole. It never got any better. No matter how much I tried – behavior, good grades it never got better. In sports there was a progression , you worked hard you got better.
Memorize stats, baseball cards, I could look at a picture and tell you what stadium it was (is). I know and emulated the batting stances of every player that played for the 1976-1979 Yankees. The only time I cried was when Thurman Munson died, sad sports movies and the thrill of victory. I never cried when I got beat.
I was never the superstar, but I was in the game. I was alive. I wasn’t first, but I was never last. I relied on myself and found my niche. When I was on a team, I was on a team. Whether it was a street team, a rec. baseball team or the 13-year old Babe Ruth Championship team, a team to me meant family, and I took over. I wanted to be the head of that family I wanted to and was the leader. This is were I excelled.. whatever I lacked in skills I made up in determination. I also love the finality of the game. At the end of the game you were either a winner or loser. You knew your fate. You didn’t have to wait to see if you got kicked out, or hit you know right then in there your fate. You won or you lost.
I am a competitive person who doesn’t like to lose. Now don’t get me wrong I’ve lost a lot, but when I can control it, I don’t like to lose. This clashed sometimes at home. I looked at it like a game---me against him. He would hit me I wouldn’t budge, flinch or protect myself I wouldn’t even cry. He wasn’t going to beat me I was going to win. Now later on life I know that probably wasn’t the smartest thing. Maybe, just maybe if I cried, or protected myself it would have been over quickly.
In sports you give respect you get respect. It was different in my “life” you gave respect---you got nothing. Now again don’t get me wrong I played hard and hard every time. I wasn’t, or still ain’t quiet when I play. I struggled with that for along time. I couldn’t play to have a good time unless I was winning and playing GREAT no matter what I was playing. People would tell me it doesn’t matter if you win or lose as long as you are having fun. I DONT BELEIVE THAT!!!! I LOST ALOT AT HOME AND I CAN TELL YOU I DIDNT HAVE ANY FUN!!!! There is no fun in losing. I’ve been known to get into it a couple of time on the field of battle. Never fist fights, but many, many verbal jousts and a couple of times very close to a fist fight. Now I believe sports was and still is my anger outlet. In the heat of the game it was me against them and that was it. I was going to win no matter what and nobody was stopping me. I believed that on the field you’re a team, a family. This was my family ---- my team -----and to me it was a battle to win.
Memorize stats, baseball cards, I could look at a picture and tell you what stadium it was (is). I know and emulated the batting stances of every player that played for the 1976-1979 Yankees. The only time I cried was when Thurman Munson died, sad sports movies and the thrill of victory. I never cried when I got beat.
I was never the superstar, but I was in the game. I was alive. I wasn’t first, but I was never last. I relied on myself and found my niche. When I was on a team, I was on a team. Whether it was a street team, a rec. baseball team or the 13-year old Babe Ruth Championship team, a team to me meant family, and I took over. I wanted to be the head of that family I wanted to and was the leader. This is were I excelled.. whatever I lacked in skills I made up in determination. I also love the finality of the game. At the end of the game you were either a winner or loser. You knew your fate. You didn’t have to wait to see if you got kicked out, or hit you know right then in there your fate. You won or you lost.
I am a competitive person who doesn’t like to lose. Now don’t get me wrong I’ve lost a lot, but when I can control it, I don’t like to lose. This clashed sometimes at home. I looked at it like a game---me against him. He would hit me I wouldn’t budge, flinch or protect myself I wouldn’t even cry. He wasn’t going to beat me I was going to win. Now later on life I know that probably wasn’t the smartest thing. Maybe, just maybe if I cried, or protected myself it would have been over quickly.
In sports you give respect you get respect. It was different in my “life” you gave respect---you got nothing. Now again don’t get me wrong I played hard and hard every time. I wasn’t, or still ain’t quiet when I play. I struggled with that for along time. I couldn’t play to have a good time unless I was winning and playing GREAT no matter what I was playing. People would tell me it doesn’t matter if you win or lose as long as you are having fun. I DONT BELEIVE THAT!!!! I LOST ALOT AT HOME AND I CAN TELL YOU I DIDNT HAVE ANY FUN!!!! There is no fun in losing. I’ve been known to get into it a couple of time on the field of battle. Never fist fights, but many, many verbal jousts and a couple of times very close to a fist fight. Now I believe sports was and still is my anger outlet. In the heat of the game it was me against them and that was it. I was going to win no matter what and nobody was stopping me. I believed that on the field you’re a team, a family. This was my family ---- my team -----and to me it was a battle to win.
Very interesting take on sports/life. There may be "no fun in losing" but you sure learn a lot more from losing then you do winning. When you win you rarely take away any lessons. When you lose however, you learn a great deal. Or at least, you should learn a great deal.
ReplyDeleteObstacles are put in front of us to teach us how to overcome them. If one never had to go through any obstacles then we'd be useless at that first cross-road. Everyone has ups and downs (some more than others - as evidenced here). It's the lessons we learn along the way that hopefully make life easier (and certainly more interesting) as we grow.
There is a great saying...Sports doesn't build character, it reveals it. Your life's experiences have made you who you are. For you that character is displayed on the ballfield, ice-rink, basketball court, etc. but it's also displayed in your everyday life. Your role as a parent. Your role as a boss. Your role as a friend. All those events that have led you to exactly where you are today has shaped you to be the person you are.
I agree with you on some points and early on in life I would have disagreed with you. When I was young winning was everything. Winning meant you were the best...winning meant, well that you were a winner and I was never a winner at home. So I wanted to be a winner on the field. I still have a lot of that in me...I want to WIN always...but I've learned how to deal with losing and what that brings. I'm not saying I'm content with winning to learn a lesson, but it happens and I learned to deal with it. I agree with your quote it does reveal it and to me sports is the essential to build character and then reveal it. Last tbut certainly not least yes EVERYTHING that has happened has shaped the person I am today and for that I am ever grateful. It was a "long strange trip" but the end was worth it.
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading and thanks for commenting. Look forward to hearing from you again.
TWTTIN....
I noticed you mentioned your biological father. Were you adopted?
ReplyDeleteDeb,
ReplyDeleteFirst thank you for visiting, reading and commenting. I guess the answer to your question is yes and no. My biological father left when I was 4/5 years old and he has never had any contact with me. My step-father then "adopted" me later on in life.
I hope this answered your question and I look forward to hearing from you again.
Thank you,
TWTTIN